“How’s it going?”… “Fine.”
How many times over the course of your ministry career, have you had a conversation that started like that? Maybe, after a season, you graduated from asking, “How’s it going?” and started asking stranger questions that would get a reaction. Sometimes great questions lead to meaningful insights - but even then, “deep” conversations don’t always lead to lasting healing and change.
If you’ve ever left a conversation feeling like you could have helped more - try this simple tool.
Remember The 4 Quadrants
Physical, Mental, SOCIAL, Spiritual
Humans are complex beings with complex issues.
One way to understand them is to realize that they exist at all times in four spaces - physical, mental, social, and spiritual.
Most people tend to think of their issues as existing in only one space. Perhaps a person will think, “I’m having a physical issue, so I’ll go to the doctor and get medicine and that will cure me.” Or “I have a social issue caused by bullying. I’ll get a teacher to advocate for me and that will cure it.” Or “My issue is a mental thing, caused by fear, so I’ll see a counselor and overcome it.” Or “My issue is a spiritual thing, so I’ll just pray more and maybe God will take it away.”
However, issues almost always stem from a combination of all four quadrants - therefore, all four quadrants need to be addressed. Fortunately - when people address all four in combination, they are more likely to experience profound healing!
As caring people who want to do a thorough check-in, and make sure the people we care about are really, “fine,” we benefit from using this framework to help us create our questions.
Ask The Right Questions
Once you’ve considered the four spaces a person is in, leading a mental health check-in means asking questions that help a person to process each part of who they are.
Here’s a set of sample questions that could be asked based on the four quadrants:
Physical
Have your eating habits gotten worse or better in the last month?
Have you had a chance to exercise?
What time do you fall asleep on average?
How much water do you drink in a given day?
Does your body feel better or worse in the last month?
How’s your energy level?
Social
Who’s in your current support system?
How’s your family’s financial situation affecting you?
How do you feel about school or work?
Has your family gotten closer or further from each other lately?
Do you feel safe at home?
Are you worried about anybody in your family?
If someone was to support you well, how could they do it?
Mental
How’s your self-esteem?
Have you noticed any repeating thought patterns?
What sorts of coping skills have you used to deal with stress?
How have you experienced success or failure lately?
How do you feel about your sense of self-control lately?
How do you feel about your ability to overcome your stress?
Spiritual
How are your decisions lining up with your morals?
Do you see a purpose for yourself in these times?
Do you feel more hopeful or more hopeless lately?
What things are making you feel shame or guilt?
How do you feel about God’s forgiveness?
What’s your connection to God feel like?
Download
Here’s a free PDF containing an overview of the four quadrants and a copy of the sample questions above.
